Haye Re Bukhaar

With this short story, I am sharing one of my most cherished childhood mischiefs. And my partner in crime was none other than my handsome and lovable brother, Rahul. From playing “Ghar Ghar”, teacher-teacher and doctor- doctor to looting kites in the scorching heat of Delhi; we played every possible childhood game together. Our mind was a whirlpool of mischievous ideas. There is a three years gap between us but we never let it come between our mastis and mazza. And I am glad it is still the same. This is for you Rahul. Love you bhai : ) 

Chal ghar ghar khelte hain aur tu mera beta banja..nahi ek kaam kar chal army army khelte hain ..tu soldier ban jise border pe goli lagti hai..Sun ye le ye mera frock pehan aur ganv wala naach karke dikha .mein dholak bajati hun . Ponny Nexy se umar mein teen saal chota tha ya yon kahiye Nexy ponny se teen saal badi thi par dono ke vicharon ya shaitaniyon  mein koi antar nahi thi . 

Kya koi shishya apne guru ka adar karta hoga jitni shraddha aur lagan se Ponny apni behan Nexy ki baton ka tahe dil se palan karta tha. Jo Nexy ne keh diya wo pathar ki lakeer thi…sunhara samay tha wo Nexy ka jab Pony uski ungliyon par naacha karta tha. Par jitna Nexy Pony par raaz chalati thi use kahin hi zyada wo Pony ko pyar aur dulaar bhi karti thi..

 

Kanjak se hui kamayi Pony ke sath banti jati thi. kya khaya jaye kya nahi khaya jaye sab Pony se puch kar hi kiya jata tha Agar kam shabdon mein kaha jaye to vah ek dusre ke bina adhure the. Pony ke sath Nexy ka shaitani karne ka mazza dogunaa ho jata tha. 

Ek baar ki baat hai Pony ki mummy ne tadke use godi mein uthaya aur naha dulha kar school jane ke liye tayyar karne lagin. Par ye kya Pony ko to halki si haraarat thi. Is bat ka fayda utha kar Pony ne bhi jamke bimari ki acting karni shuru kari. Ponny ki mummy ne uski tabiyat dekh kar tay ki vah aj school nahi jayega. Ponny khushi se bhula nahi sama raha tha par chutti ka mazaa akele kya agar Nexy na ho?

Pony ne ye baat chupke se Nexy ke kaan mein po dali jo apne papa ke pass aram se so rahi thi. Bat sunte hi Nexy Ki ankhon se need aisi ud gayi jaise gadhe ke sar se seeng. Ponny aur Nexy ne ek plan banaya ko wo apni dadi (jo ki ghar ka supreme court thi) ke pass apni guhar lekar jayenge aur unki approach se mummy papa tak ye sandes pahuchayenge ki Nexy ko chutti marwayi jaye kyunki koi to chahiye the Pony ka dhyan rakhne ke liye. 

Kyunki pichle hafte hi Kanjak nikli thi, Nexy ke pass acchi khase paise ikhhate hog aye the jinko udaane ka din a chukka tha. Par ghar se baahar kaise nikla jaye ye sawaal dono ko kate ja raha tha..Dadi ko chakma dena itna asaan nahi thi..to Ab kya kiya jaye?

Ponny ne bahut bukhar hone ka natak kiya aur Nexy ko dadi ke pass bheja apni tabiyat ka haal batane ke liye. “Amma ponny ko to bahut bukhar hai .bichara ro raha hai.kya karien”….”Ari to ja leja ise daactar ke pass”…”Le jaun..matlab le jaun pakka??nexy ne hadbadate hue pucha….”Kitni bar pucheji ..jaaa leja”

Nexy ne gadbadi lagayi aur Pony ko ye khush khabri sunayi. Phir kya tha ek minute ke andar dono ne kapde badle chappal pehni aur tayyar the apni azaadi ki daawat ka swad chakhne ke liye. Ek min Pony, ruk mein purse le aaun..”tu apne hath mein le chal ne paise” pony jhunjhalaya..Nexy phusphusa kar boli..”Arey pagal amma ne dekh liye to”

Amma ek bade se lakdi ke thakt bar laiti thi jo ghar ke baramde mein virajmaan tha aur jahan se bahar jane ka raasta tha. Amma ko gehri need mein dekh, Pony aur Nexy dabe kadmon se main darwaaze ki ki taraf badh rahe the ..Jaise hi unhone darawaza khola, amma ki need tut gayi aur dono ko daboch liya. "Kahan chale tum dono..”arey amma ponny ko dikhane..aapne hi to kaha tha dikha la ise”..Amma ne sar hiliaya aur kaha..” accha jao par ek ghante mein wapis a jana..aur ise vipin doc ke pass hi leke jaiyo ..kabhi kahin aur chali jaye”.( vipin hamara family doc tha aur aj tak hai )

Nexy ne han mein han milayi aur fatafat se Pony ka haath pakad kar bahar nikal gayi. June ki tapti dopahari mein ab chale kaun, to Nexy ne Ponny ki bimari ka bahana banate hue kaha..”dekh teri tabiyat to theek hai nahi..to phir tujhe itni dhoop mein chalne mei chalna pareshani hogi..ek kam karte hain rickshaw kar lete hain”. 

“O bhaiya chaloge kya…oo bhaiya arey jaaago bhi..Nexy ne sote hue rickshay wale ke kaan me zor se chillaya…”Kya hai kahan jana hai ?”…”Krishna Mandir se thoda agey ..vipin doctor ki dukaan hai na wahan.bolo kitne loge”...”10 rupaye lagenge”.. “bhaiya kya pagal samajhte ho..5 Rs lagte hain”..Rickshey wale ne Nexy aur Pony ko upar se neeche tak dekha aur bola.”.hum nahi jayenge..10 mein chalna hai to chalo.

 

Nexy ne Pony ka hath pakda aur chal padi ..Rehne do bhaiya…hume nahi jana. Acchi khasi sawari ko jate dekh rickshay wala chillaya ..”accha a jao dono” “Pony chal baith aur mujhe pakad le gir jayega warna tu”..Nexy didi hone ka dharam nibhate hue Pony ko  salah deti rahi..Rickshaw chala aur dono ne ek dusre ki taraf dekha…chehre pe ek aisi hansi jo shayad 1 crore chocolate ya 500 khilone bhi nahi de pate..Ye hansi thi azaadi ki ..akele mauj marne ki ..amma ke chungal se nikal kar bhaagne ki.

“Bas bas bhaiya yahi rok do”..Nexy ne bade style se ek purane se batue  me se 5 rupaye nikale aur rickshay wale ko thamaye aur jake vipin doctor ki dukaan par dhava bola.. “dekh Pony hamara no 10 hai aur abhi 7 chal raha hai”.. itne mein hi awaz ayi..7 no andar ayein…Nexy badi behna hone ke khatir Pony ka hath pakad kar use doctor ke pass lekar pahunchi .Vipin ne dono ko dekha aur phir pucha..”to kaun bimar hai tum me se?”…Nexy ne Pony ki taraf ishaara karte hue kaha..”ye uncle ye bimar hai”..Accha..kya nam hai iska..doctor ne thermometer jhadte hue pucha..”baith yahan aur chal muuh khol”..Pony sahma sa doctor ki seat ke pass padi ek choti si chair par baith gaya.

 

“Isko kal rat se hi kafi bukhar hai....ssamajh nahi a raha uncle isko kyu chada hai bukhaar”. Nonstop bolkar Nexy vipin doctor apne bade aur samajhdar hone ka eshaas dila rahi thi.. “98 hai ..kuch nahi hua ise “ “ par doctor sab kuch khane ka to parhej batao”..Doc hansa aur bola kuch bhi khao jao. Nexy ko kuch samajh sa nahi a raha tha. “Accha uncle fees to batao kitni hai..( Vipin doc wo insaan tha jo kisi bhi prashan ka jawab dena apni doc ke profession ke khilaf samajhta tha) par Nexy aur Pony se tang a kar use apna dharm bhrasht karna hi pada. “Arey koi fees nahi hai ..na ise kuch hua hai ..ab ghar jao dono chalo”. 

Thank you bolkar dono dukaan ke bahar nikal aye. Pony ne apni narazgi zaahir kare hue bola “Dekh Nexy ab to doc ke yahan se bhi ho aye..ab khila kuch thak gaya mein” ….Han ruk dekhti hun ..Nexy ne idhar udhar ankhein daudayin aur ek choti si halwai ki dukaan par ek sheesh ke bade dabbe mein mathri dekhin. Phir kya tha ..dono ek min ke andar dukaan ke andar pahunch gaye. Bhaiya 5 mathri dena. Mathri lekar dono phule nahi sama rahe the.

Dekh Pony teri tabiyat abhi bhi theek nahi hai. Pony ko kuch samajh a nahi a raha tha ki Nexy ke dimaag mein aakhir chal kya raha hai. “Doctor ne to kaha tha mein theek hun”. “Arey use kya pata..Nexy Pony ko samjhate hue boli” Dekh tujhe pata nahi hai ..aur vipin to paagal hai ..tu chal tere liye rickshaw kar lun”..Pony khushi se uchal pada..arey haan haan mazza ayega.  Rickshaw ki sawari un dono ke liye Appu Ghar ke kisi jhule se kam nahi thi.

Ghar bas 15 minute ki duuri par tha par Pony aur Nexy ki mathriya khatm hi nahi ho rahi thin. “Nexy kya karein ghar mein mar padegi agar mathri dekhin amma ne to.”.Sahi keh raha hai tu ..kya karein…Nexy ne phir apna sar khujalaya aur jugat lagayi…”Rickshay wale ko chote raaste ki bajay lambe raaste par mudwa diya..bhaiya yahan se lo ..phir agey se bayien lekar..dusre kat se seedhe hath ko le lena”. Na ghar aye aur na Mathri khatm ho. Ye naatak aadha ghanta chalta raha aur Nexy aur Pony Mathri aur rickshaw ka bharpoor mazza lete rahe. 

Rickshaw kabhi dayein se bayien aur kabhi bayein se daayein  mude par Nexy aur ponny ka ghar hi na aye…rickshaw wala tang hokar bola ”kahan hai tumhara ghar..utar jao rickshaw se”…Arey bhaiya bas isi gali mein lelo.. Jhunjhalte hue rickshaw wale ne unhe unki gali ke mod par hi utaar diya..Shukar mathri khatm ho chuki thi..”Amma darwaza kholo”..Nexy chillai..Amma ne darwaza khola aur dekha do thake se panchi khade hain..Amma ne bhanve chadhate hue pucha..”kyun kaha the itni der? ..ek ghante se upar ho gaya” Pony ne baat sambhali aur roni si surat banakar bola. “arey amma doc ki dukaan band thi..yahan se paidal gaye mein aur Nexy aur itni pyas lagi paani bhi nahi piya..wahan se wapis bhi paidal a rahe hain…kuch khaya bhi nahi hai humne subah se”

Jahan ponny ne baat khatam kari wahan se Nexy ne bat ka ek aur chor padka..”Amma isko abhi bhi halka bhukhar hai”..tabhi ek juice wale ne awaz lagayi…Mausambi ka juice peelo..Nexy aur Ponny ki baatein sunkar amma ka dil paseej gaya aur bolin..”chalo lo tumhe juice pibaun” Do bade glass mausambi ke juice aye..Mathri khake mausambi ka juice peen ke apne hi maze the..Nexy aur Pony ne ek dusre ko dekha..aur bahut lambi muskaan phenki aur apne apne glass lekar television wale kamre me kooch kar gaye.